Retired Player T-Shirts

"I quit."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

Happy Retirement

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Sure, I remember using carbon paper. Does that carbon date me?'

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

I got my bad back from an old football injury.

"You've still got it Joao."

'I see the SAGA talent scouts are here.'

"I once loved a parade."

"I'm retired actor Daniel Day Lewis. They thought I was I was good. They don't know how good."

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Road signs of Aging

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.