Retail Survivor Mugs

The Store That's All Closed-Up

Property Taxes.

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'And the quality of your merchandise has really gone downhill.'

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

"The only reason I don't punch him in the nose is because I'm a much bigger man."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Brick and Mortar

"Returns"

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

Sold It All.

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

Shopping Torture

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

SAGE (unknown model)

Till malfunction

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

"Any chance of some credit?"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

"Mr. Rod gave me my employee review. He said I totally 'meet expectations'."

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."