Retail Ruler Mugs

"I want an eponymous retail empire when I grow up, Greg. What do you want?"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

I love my Timpani

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Malcolm Sargent

"He's my school project for science class."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Pirates at the mall.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

A politician's dream come true...

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Interactive TV news.'

"Why, this is fit for me!"

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"I am a control freak."

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

"Trust no one."

"Listen, Baldo, I know what you're thinking...but as part of the management team, I can say with all confidence that your job is safe."

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

"Sky, sir?"

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"We need to reduce our overheads."

"He's a genius at product placement."

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

'Big shots deserve big offices.'

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."