Retail Industry Followers T-Shirts

'I tried to put a positive spin on the whole situation.'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Sale.

"Everything's gone up."

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Giraffe Selfie

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

'Our giant sale now on!'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"I just wonder if the brand name is too obvious."

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

'Aaar! Walk the person planked on the plank!'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"I don't regret going bald. I just regret growing bald before I had a chance to rock a man bun."

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.