Retail Chaos Fan Pillows

"I don't care what you say. It's not Christmas until I see the first fist fight at Walmart."

Computer Room.

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

I see the Boris moon arising. . .

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"You get one every time you order something online."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'We admire your industriousness, Ken, but you're flooding Human Resources again!'

Cat attacks dog reading on a bench.

Men and Women's changing rooms

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

'Cut that out! Every time you jump in our pool, we have to refill it!'

How the mysterious global economy works: Somewhere in Singapore, a tiny butterfly flaps its wings, and within minutes, the repercussions are felt halfway around the world.

'Try rebooting.'

"Captain, this Brie is totally out of control!"

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”

"Retail shares just went up ten percent. My wife must have gone shopping this morning!"

"I knew it was a mistake to get Katie Price in for a book signing."

Winter Sale

'And that's Mr. Clarke - bottle of Pinot Grigio, every Friday, 4:45 p.m.'

The eskimo lottery...

New Shoes.

Woman shopping for stress relief devices

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Well, one of us has screwed up!'

Hell for cashiers.

"You know they say money is filthy? Well, I decided to get rid of some of it."

Hoping to boost holiday shopping, many retailers have installed vacuum doorways.