Resume Writing Enthusiast Mugs

'Your resume looks good, except for the part about being a fugitive from a chain gang.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Job Interview Gone Bad.

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

Tweaking the CV.

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'Have you got a resume?'

"I can see here on your résumé that you’d like my job ..."

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"The narrative seems contrived."

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."