Resume Storyteller Pillows

'Here's my resume. It's loosely based on true story.'

"Thank you - it's not often I get a belly-laugh anymore. Here's your resume."

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Edgar Allen Poe

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

A Fairytale Update

Bacchus.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.