Resume Remodeler Prints

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'Any recommendations besides these report cards saying you work well with others?'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

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'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"It's a pretty good resume, but I would have like to see more bells and whistles."

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

"I've applied the Paper Reduction Act to my resume."

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"

'I'll stop saying you've changed jobs too many times if you'll stop giving me notice.'

"Sorry, but you're overqualified."

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

'Your career is a change management textbook.'