Restaurant Humor Lover Mugs

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Well, do you have anything with 'fly' in it?

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

"Aren't you going to write that down?"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Better Not Squash.

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"You're in luck. A slot for you just opened up in our kitchen."

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

'I'd like to order, please.' - 'Okay, what's your table number?' - 'I don't know.' - 'Find it, weak-minded fool!!' - 'What's our table number?' - 'There is no table number.' - 'There is no table number.' - 'You should have been assigned a table number whe

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

'I'll be talking nonsense when you come to take our order. But, if you pretend I'm speaking French there'll be a big tip in it for you.'

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Waiter, there's a potato bug in my New England clam chowder. You should have ordered the Manhattan clam chowder

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Lunch Broker

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

'Waiter, there're four flies in my soup! How 'bout just moving the bug zapper?'

"The Catch of the Day is the chef's cold."

Waiter, there's a fly drowning in my soup. Try mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.