Restaurant Grand Opening Pillows

"I dunno...Where is everyone?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I come here for the pepper."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Shaken not stirred

"This is our soft opening."

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Garlic Free Zone.

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Cooking'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

American style Greek cafe.

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

Ghostbasters 3

Local food for local consumption

Kentucky Fried Horse

"Sir, we serve pancakes 297 ways. We don't do plain toast."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'