Restaurant Fun Prints

"Don't get your hopes up, honey. I call everybody 'honey.'"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"That's it. We’re toast."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Today's special... donuts.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

I wish I'd had the review.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'How is the water prepared?'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

'Whatever he's eating.'

Haute Chinese

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"More?"