Restaurant Fun Prints

"Don't get your hopes up, honey. I call everybody 'honey.'"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"That's it. We’re toast."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Today's special... donuts.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

I wish I'd had the review.

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'How is the water prepared?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Your meal sounded nice."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

'Whatever he's eating.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Haute Chinese

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."