Restaurant Enthusiasts Mugs

"How was your lonely little dinner, sir?"

'One moment gentlemen - do you have a reservation?'

I never got over my childhood desire to have a pony. I doubt you'll find one on the menu.

You were right about this place, Perry: it's very nice. I think it was just the name that threw me off. The Pig Sty. The Pig Sty.

"Lobster? Of course, sir - Whom should we notify in case of an emergency?"

"...Oh wait, it's just my reflection."

"I can grant you three dishes."

'Who ordered the soup with a fly in it?'

"You'd clean and set tables and make sure that each table hs a salt lick and pepper."

"Yes we are a child-friendly restaurant. That's Igor, the owner's son, who will entertain your children while you eat."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'A cheeky red?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

La Table

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.