Resourceful Realist T-Shirts

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

World Production.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

COVID Devotion

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

Inbox and Outbox

"Usually when a person is stranded on an island, they make a grass hut. Apparently, you're more resourceful than that."

"If you don't have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in this world!"

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

Proverbs for Real Life. When one door closes it's probably locked and your key is on the other side.

Blood is thicker than water. Oil is thicker yet.

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"We're tolerably self sufficient. Alistair, for example, makes all our own petrol."

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."