Resolution Ringmaster Pillows

'Why do you ask me questions if you don't want to hear the answers?'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Mediation Process

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Guy in gym

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

January Joiner

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

Matador.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'