Resilient Resolutioner Gifts

Giving up carrots was the worse 20 minutes of my life.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

Covid and Restarting School

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

COVID Devotion

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

"Your company folded – that doesn't mean you have to."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

If it makes you fell any better, I had to make seven New Year's resolutions, and I'm sure I'll break every last one. Ice cream.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

Good intentions last a month on average

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'Remember, Junior, if at first you don't succeed...come up with a good exit strategy.'

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

Man completely bandaged leaves an eye uncovered so he can read.

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Great ... Thanks to your "calendar" invention, now I have to think of a New Year's resolution.

Benefits of Living Abroad

Hang in There!