Resignation Anniversary Pillows

"First they outsourced my job, and then they outsourced me."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Best Scapegoat

'I was a taxi driver once but I resigned!' 'Why?' 'I hate people talking behind my back.'

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

Rent-a-car! We pick you up

"Goodbye, Cruikshank. We leave you to contemplate the wisdom of messing with big dog!"

The Monroe Doctrine

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Well, yes, we did have to downsize operations a bit ... "

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

'Coach, were you forced to resign? ...'

"Hey...Didn't we build that?"

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

"Rise. Genuflecting was only required during internship."

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

'...and please remember, if I HAD a door, it would always be open for you.'

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

Gladstone Steps Down as Liberal Leader

"I quit."

Nothing to Lose

'I'm resigning -- so voters won't get the satisfaction of kicking me out of office!'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"We hired him for his soft paws - I mean soft skills."