Reptilian Wit Pillows

'Don't chew your food.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Crocodile

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

Danth battle?

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

The Monitor is going to sleep.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Snake Eyes

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."