Reptile Handler Pillows

"Well, the usual salary for a new staff member is one rat every two to three weeks, Mr. Shoodick."

"The chameleons have escaped!!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'Play it again, Sam.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Crocodile

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

Danth battle?

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

The Monitor is going to sleep.

Snake Eyes

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'