Reproductive Satirist T-Shirts

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

The Female Brain and The Other One

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

The finer points of marriage.

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'The marriage counseling session didn't help -- she still claims she never saw me before in her life.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

"I never thought I'd get married again."

Glimpses One Dollar

Fertility Clinic

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

'When I think of all the men I could've married...'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

"You are here."

'...And do you Colin, take Linda to be your cook, cleaner and main income provider?'

'Sometimes I think you only married me for my employer's spousal benefit health insurance coverage.'

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

'Actually, your wife's quite hot... Mind if I ask her for a date?... Post decree absolute, of course.'

'I'm entitled to one phone call!'

The Swat Team of 15-L

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"He left me. I doubt it was for another woman, though. He asked me for a letter of recommendation."

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

"Okay, but irony aside, what happens once we get into their den?"

"If it please the court, I'd like to act as my own plucky young female attorney."