Report Critique Fan Prints

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

Privatized Jails

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

'Warren buffett invests only in things he understands...my view is that politicians should regulate only things they understand!'

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

'We don't believe in treating people like a number. Here, you'll be treated like a slave.'

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"Wow, we're doing great."

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

"A non-gorenment organization? There is such a thing?"

'How do you like the new incentive scheme?'

"Publicly, we're still saying there are no side effects."

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

'Exploiting the workers hasn't helped...so we'll have to start screwing them.'

"How can a drugstore afford to buy a large insurance company for $69 billion?"

Sleeping - "Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

"..And the best product placement in a film award goes to..."