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"Ahh! You must be little David's father."

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'