Report Card Rewritist Pillows

"You hired a lawyer to draft a summary of your report card?"

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"It's good for you. It has lots of vitamin D."

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

"It may not be a good report card but I'm working with the genes you dealt me."