Reluctant Obedience School Attendee Pillows

"Bad dog."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Balloon dog training

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Dog Training.

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

Obedience School Graduation.

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Get in step."

"Sit!"

'Is he sitting?'

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

'They wouldn't let him graduate from obedience school - he bit the valedictorian.'

Tony's dog always brought him to his slippers.

How paper training can affect puppies...

"Let's try it again. This time with a tad less mania."

'So that night, after you ordered no more table scraps...

Discipline at Doggy School

'Oh, I just knew that darned obedience school was a mistake!'

'Did the mail come?'

Dog obedience school: with bone on teacher's table

Veterinarians: Back in 5 Min. Sit! Stay!

"Not bad, but I said, 'Stay'."

"A simple command. She gets right to the point. I must obey. Still...I see that rolled-up newspaper as a threatening gesture designed to humble and instill fear. Therefore, later, while she sleeps. I will chew up her other shoe."

"You want me to sit down for this news? I haven't learned to do that yet."

"I'm sure he does bring you your slippers and your morning paper, but that still doesn't make him a service dog."