Religious Rogue Prints

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Golfing Bishop.

"All we have left is standing room only."

At the 2021 Religious Games

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Priest

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

Ten Commandments

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Monk Prompt

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'