Religion And Philosophy Scholar Pillows

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Yes, all at once!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Well, we needed the rain."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

How world war III started.

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

The ten ammendments

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."