Relaxed Lifestyle Welcome Pillows

'Sales of our new stay-awake pill have been very disappointing.'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"We need to walk."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

Dun spellchecking.

Pet Hobbies

'They say pot makes you less motivated, but I've already been to Taco Bell eleven times today.'

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

"Don't you just want to stop and eat the flowers sometimes?"

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

"What are we doing today?"

'His Dad was a couch potato.'

It is what it is. Settle down! Stop being such a worrywart. What's the worst that could happen? Inactivists.

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

"On the other hand, Timmy. Fear of failure has kept daddy from ever being seriously injured."

Summer Road Work

'Now that we've moved to this nudist colony, I suppose we should send everyone a change of undress notice!'

'I'm a mantis. but not the praying sort.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Health Club: For Regular People

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

"For the last time, stop saying 'Let's just wing it'!"

Cat's busy calendar

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

"Go with the flow, boys!"

"The early retirement was surprising, but he reached his level of incompetance much sooner than expected."

'Why live each day to the fullest? You have 9 lives.'

'I'm an under achiever, what do you do?'

He's giving up being an international sex symbol and man of mystery for the New Year.

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

'Oh, he couldn't be sleepwalking - he's far too lazy for THAT.'

"Never be ashamed of our wealth, Timmy. Daddy lived a long time to inherit it."