Relationship Troublemaker Mugs

'Can we wrap up this argument? I've just thought of another one.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Great Therapy!'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"We don't talk anymore."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'Don't look at me!'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

Bingo Saves Christmas - Part Three

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'How long have you been fighting?'

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"See how controlling he is?!"

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'