Relationship Trouble Navigator T-Shirts

"Yeah? Well, I sentence you to death!"

In the Guru District

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'Great Therapy!'

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"