Relationship Roller-coaster Pillows

'It's not a good time - she's in one of her moods.'

'Your place or mine?'

"Tunnel of love"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

Waterfall of Disappointment

Dating the efficiency expert.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Joe's Bar: Happy Hour 5-9, Utter Despair 10-12.

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

Mine Shaft of Love.

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"Oh no! You, again?"

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

'And you must be Hank, my husband's new business partner!'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

Tunnel of Love.

Church Drive-Thru.

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Bipolar Bear.

'I'm sorry, Jerome. Instead of marriage and having kids, I've decided just to have myself cloned.'

'I'm mad as hell, but also very apathetic.'

"He sounds like a papaya I bought that just went straight from green to rotten."

'Aaaawww...You're cute when you are wrong.'

STRIP *The Fan * Thinking of ditching Coventry City

"Surely not zero tolerance?"

"And what's the nature of today's visit?"

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

"Jeremy called our relationship 'crunchy.'"

Mood Swings.

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

"Call me when you've learned how to have an adult relationship with your apartment."