Relationship Juggler T-Shirts

State of Work...State of Marriage

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"Which you am I talking to now?"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Why did you have your hip replaced if it wasn't bothering me?'

'Of course you can trust me, Larry. We've been frenemies for years!'

'You know you're the only woman in the world for me, Barbara, except for my wife of course.'

'Brawk...Get dressed Frank, my husband will be home soon!...Brawwwk... Get dressed Frank, my husband will be home soon!...Brawwwk...'

'If you are ringing your mentor to ask about your next move then we're FINISHED.'

"I'll do whatever it takes to save this marriage. Even if that means having to work weekends."

I hope my sacking you won't affect our marriage, James?

"Thank you so much for inviting me to play a pivotal role in your marriage. What am I to do, exactly?"

Are you firing me as your sales manager or as your husband or both?

'I can't say yes or no now, Steve, but Vince Johnson's option runs out next month.'

"Leap years aren't so bad, on average I get to see him an extra 23.61 seconds a day."

Home office manager

"I would've called and cancelled, but you know how I hate disappointing cable companies."

Working Marriage

'It's my husband. . . quick, under the bed..'

'Can I play cards with the lads on Friday night?'

"Mother says we need to talk."

"He said the one word that drives women crazy...pickleball."

"I really hate how your mother keeps appearing as a hologram."

'Is the breakup forever this time?' 'No, we're on again, off again.'

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

"I don't know what went wrong. He used to be just crazy about me."

'Yes, a diet can cause stress, especially if it's your husband's.'

Six Degrees of Separation Anxiety

'Wow, I just told your mother I welcomed her criticism.'

'My wife doesn't understand me....my mistress doesn't understand me...my girlfriend doesn't understand me.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

"That's my old boyfriend. He's just staying here through the transition period."

"She's got three moods from a previous marriage."