Refurbishing Pillows

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

A cock up of builders

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

Artex cartoon

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Witch Hardware

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...