Refurbishing Pillows

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Witch Hardware

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

A cock up of builders

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

Artex cartoon

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."