Refinery Operator T-Shirts

"Take no notice, Blendie, it's just Brent, being his usual, crude..."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Let's call him lucky!'

"No. Bad dog. You may not use fracking to extract a bone you buried."

"Now I'm just cleaning up."

Snake in the grass...

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

US Energy Needs.

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Keystone XL

There's no real oil emergency...

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

The Procrastinator

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

'I think we can skip the resume.'

Camel In The Tent

"We need to improve our environmental credentials, tell everyone on the rigs to start using recyclable cups."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'Maybe we should've let that one pass.'

'Who is to blame?'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

Energy trap.

"Woo-hoo!"

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.