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Who's Who and Who Cares.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

dog reading EKG

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

"Avoiding something, aren't we?"

"We start on #F."

Self-realization.

Flautist

No hitting below the belt!

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

"Have you tried spending time with friends who are worse off?"

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

"I think I need to go on a diet. I'm tipping the scale."

Girl focusing on one negative comment using telescope.

Emergency book: 'How To Cope With Stress'.

"You feel like a fake? Man, I wrote the book on faking it. Not really, but that's what I tell everyone."

Mr. Low Self-Esteem Man