Redundancy Reality Checker T-Shirts

"You're all redundant."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

St. Elmo's fired.

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

The Expert

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

"Are these 'raw' facts or 'spun' facts?"

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

'We'll add extra to your severance package if you promise to go to work for our competition.'

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

Nearly a third of the earth's life-forms have gone extinct. Cut! Stop with all the facts. This is debate club! But we're using a cable tv talk show format! What should I say? Unsupported opinions

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

Two computers, smaller one labeled DATA, the larger one, HYPE

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

Psychiatrist. She said she could help get me in touch with reality or boost my self-esteem but not both.

"Tim hasn't felt comfortable coming back into the office but he has sent some of his thoughts."