Red Wine Appreciation Pillows

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

A nice Chianti?

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'A cheeky red?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

Sauvignon Bonk

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"He gets easily abstracted."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Pasta

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"I make it myself!"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"I only need shade for my wine."