Red Wine Admirer T-Shirts

"I think this is a red."

"Fred read red wine has lots of benefits including a longer life!"

'A cheeky red?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wine Lady

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Bacchus.

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."