Red Tape Satirist T-Shirts

'I'm a doctor and I'd be glad to perform the heimlich maneuver on you if you call me to make an appointment and come in to fill out some forms first.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Quality Control

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

Distractions: Work Disputes

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

Planning permission REFUSED...

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'Failure is not an option. But inaction due to foot-dragging and red tape is a definite possibility.'

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

Happy holidays from the IRS! To celebrate we've switched our usual red tape to red ribbon!

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

A day at the UN.

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

Department of Infrastructure

'It's an EIEIO!'

"What do people mean when they say the recruitment process was 'opaque'?