Red Tape Connoisseur T-Shirts

'The Department of Motor Vehicles is here to make your phone inquiry quick and easy. Using your telephone keypad, enter your sixteen digit motorist ID, followed by your nine digit Social Security number, and your ten digit telephone number....'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"Why don't you ever do any positive stories about government dysfunction?"

Climbing in the Bureaucracy.

"Sure, you can use the bathroom. But, you have to put your request in writing and send three copies to the personnel department."

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

A day at the UN.

Bureaucratic castle

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

Bureaucrat

'Of course it's a lengthy process. We feel hiring you should be as difficult as firing you.'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

CITY HALL, NO PROBLEM IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL., 'Oh, no, your problem isn't too big or too small - it's just too difficult.'

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

"These are the forms you need to fill out to show that our primary focus is client care."

'Excuse me, Mr. Jennings, but there's a gentleman here who wants to know if you'd mind him leaving some paperwork with you to go over.'

"Jenkins, rumor has it there are people outside this meeting who are doing actual work. Go find out."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

"No, you can't see Mr. Smith without an appointment! But I can make you an appointment to make an appointment!"

Office worker on phone: 'If you could just email me the faxes of the photocopies of the transcripts of the fifteen phone messages in question, that would probably be the simplest.'

"The minister has instructed us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets in the next 43 days." "Could we start with that one?"