Red Carpet Analyzer T-Shirts

Assorted Smiles, Show Business Awards.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

May I have the envelope, please?

Oscars acceptance speech.

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

Oscars

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

'And who are you wearing?'

Jude Law.

Cannes Film Festival Heels Controversy

A woman bows to the crowd

Oscar Victory

Leonardo DiCaprio

Carpet

Emma Thompson

On the red carpet

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

'Quick, wardrobe malfunction!'

"And ultimately, I want to direct."

Red Carpet

"Aren't you ready yet?"

Emma Thompson

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

George Clooney

Red carpet rolling over a limousine.