Recovering From A Back Injury Pillows

'I can't wait to get the money for one of those new laptops, this foot-top is killing my back!'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Very funny!'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

En garde!

Time Out For Teddy

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Being Serenading in Casualty

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'