Recharge Enthusiast Pillows

"Oh, I'm fine. I just had to take a personal day to recharge my batteries."

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

That one has all the batteries!

AA Meeting Here Today

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

The discovery of electricity...

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

Man feeding his computer money.

Another Energy-Saving Idea From Your Electric-Eel Council:

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Lithium Fair

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

Nuclear energy.

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

'Can you feel the electricity in the air?...'

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Energy trap.

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

'I brought in a big order and my boss gave me a feather for my cap.'

After the upgrade, crashes were far less frequent and seldom fatal.

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

'I've still got nothing. I'm going to call an electrician.'

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

Ohm. He has a degree in electrical engineering!

'Smiley, it's come to my attention that, since being promoted to management, you've grown fangs.'

'Truly,he's a great conductor.'

'Do you think we can afford better toilets?'...

'You know how it goes: Opposites attract...'

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

Wow! I've met some famous scientists up here! Yesterday I met Thomas Edison -- it was very illuminating! And today I met Professor Pavlov! You know who was, don't you? I'm not sure -- but the name sure rings a bell!