Recession Buff Gifts

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

'And if anyone asks, you're just a merchant not a merchant banker!'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

E.U. Banking Union.

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Dow Jones drop

'Hi. Due to the regulation fervor, I'm one of the clowns from Washington here to tell you how to run your business.'

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

Standard And P****d.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

The End is Nigh

Shares Nosedive

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

"The minimum wage is being upgraded, so how about the minimum allowance?"

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

The Euro.