Recess Planner Mugs

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Santa Claus's Mail

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

'Court's in recess!'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

Playground Pipe Dreams

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"To say things are bad is an UNDERSTATEMENT...We're staring into a FINANCIAL ABYSS, the COLLAPSE of the banking sector...On the other hand some experts believe that things will be back to normal in a few months ."

I miss recess!

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

White House Garage Sale.

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

"If we didn't send them out to recess after lunch, they wouldn't be full of solar energy all afternoon."

"Wanna be my default best friend?"

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

"I can't go on reading this. . . I'm scared to death!"

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'The holidays are about to be thrust upon us, Edgar, are you prepared?'

Because of bad weather and lots of people moving slowly on the path, it took forever to get here! Everybody was picking up a pumpkin on Wednesday. There was a huge crowd and long lines at the pumpkin patch. My brother and I can't be seated together today. We'd argue and disagree about who should run the village council. After this huge meal nobody's gonna want to stick around and clean up this mess! If they're still having this celebration centuries from now, I'm sure they'll have worked i

Bad news airbag

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

'Sold the Harley, opened up an offshore account and topped up our investments.'

Bell ringer.

"Wow, the literary life is exhausting! Just when I finish 'What I Did On My Summer Vacation,' I need to begin my 'What I Want For Christmas' list!"

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'