Recently Promoted Gifts

"They tell me you're a nincompoop, Henderson, but you certainly do know how to maintain a crease."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'Stop moaning. We all have to start somewhere.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Killer Executive Suits.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

In basket-case.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

Others will fight for you

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.