Recent Parenthood T-Shirts

Seen any Decent Films Recently.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

"She's been so creative lately."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Interior design trends for parents....

A midwife holding a baby

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Low-Energy Drinks

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

The No No No's

Rocking horse

Knight feeding his kids.

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'