Receiving Medical Bill Pillows

"He has sticker shock from his health care costs, doctor..."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

Medical Billing & Coding

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"Doctor Wilson believes in preventive financing, so regardless of your insurance, fill out this loan application form."

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

"The doctor will bill you now."

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"I can't wait until we convert to electronic health records. Carry these is giving me backache."

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy...diminish pain and protect you from the damaging effects of stress!"

'How come routine care breeds intensive billing?'

'Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it still remains so popular?'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

'Don't pay the doctor...'

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."