Receiving An Honour T-Shirts

"Oh look, how utterly ridiculous - you're on the honours list!"

Keyworker

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Employee of the Month

Summa cum latte.

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

Oscars

'And I would like to thank all those people who helped me write this book...'

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

'And this one I got for the improvements I made in camouflage.'

"This goes to our Most Aggressive Defender and, ironicall, first person ever to foul out of an awards banquet..."

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

'You've won a business award.' ('for gobbledegook')

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

Army general with a support for his medals.

'I've received celebrity status!'

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

"...And I'd like to thank all the little people whom I stepped on in order to get to where I am..."

Substitute Teacher of the Year Award.

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

'The Mayor gave me the security key to the city.'

"I let him think he's protecting us, too."