Receiving An Award T-Shirts

'You've won a business award.' ('for gobbledegook')

"...And I'd like to thank all the little people whom I stepped on in order to get to where I am..."

Substitute Teacher of the Year Award.

"As a way of expressing our thanks, we offer this modest honorarium."

'The Mayor gave me the security key to the city.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'Abramowitz and Lowenstein, you've certainly earned this, but unfortunately we don't have enough room on the letterhead... Smith, congratulations!'

'And I would like to thank all those people who helped me write this book...'

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

Navalny wins Sakharov Prize

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

Captain Tom

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

Unsung Hero Recognition.

"His acceptance speech was only 140 characterslong."

'I've received celebrity status!'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Businessman of the Year Awards.

For service to services...

"I want you to promise you'll take some of your Nobel Prize money and buy yourself something nice."

"We go to Stockholm, we accept our, prize, and then I never want to see your ugly mug again!"

'That's a platinum award. I've sold a million Big Issues!'

Receiving the medal was nice, but what I really enjoyed was getting the hero sandwich!

"Well, for starters, I'd like to thank me."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Why can't you just hang your key to the city on an office wall like a normal honoree?'

"I accept this award...for my team...who are cheering way too loudly."

'He has mixed feelings about the trophy — it's a lifetime achievement award from the Anarchists' Association.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'