Realness Advocate Gifts

Reading 'Faking It' & 'How To Tell If She's Faking It'.

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"We need a union!'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Human Rights and the USA

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"It's running five minutes fast."

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"We'll take a 10% cut in benefits if you'll take a 10% cut in stock options."

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"Overruled."

The weight the justice.

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

Spain - Catalonia, who's to blame?

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Supreme Liberty Court

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."