Realness Advocate Gifts

Reading 'Faking It' & 'How To Tell If She's Faking It'.

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"We need a union!'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

Human Rights and the USA

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"It's running five minutes fast."

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

"We'll take a 10% cut in benefits if you'll take a 10% cut in stock options."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"Overruled."

The weight the justice.

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

Spain - Catalonia, who's to blame?

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

Supreme Liberty Court

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"Gracie, if we want to see more Latinos in film, we need to support Latino films. When a movie comes out with Latino stars and Latino story, we need to go see it."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'