Reality Tv Auditionee Prints

I rented a car from Hertz the other day, and there was a camera in it. Really? Someone forgot their camera? No, I mean in the dashboard. There was a little camera pointed at me. I have no idea who or what was watching me. Maybe it was Hertz. Maybe it was the NSA. Maybe it was for American Idol auditions. To cover all my bases, I sang the Star-Spangled Banner the whole drive. I'm never renting from Hertz again.

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

TV-Mirror.

Sammi and her 'partner' decide to have their child baptized at a Suuuuper-inclusive church

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

The changing times of 'fame'.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, unless it's a really sensational lie that will boost our ratings?

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

Simon Cowell

Distancing with the Stars

Live water cooler.

Man watching television show, 'Are You Lower Than The Lowest Common Denominator'?

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

Celebrity Shark Attack.

"...till death – or your first reality show – do you part."

'Tonight, one of you is going home.'

'Each one of you will to sing your job creation and tax plans. . . the 'American Idle' will vote for 'the American President'.'

JWoww becomes fascinated with psychedelic therapy after reading 'How to Change Your Mind' by Michael Pollan.

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

'Congratulations on reaching the grand final, how does it feel to be the biggest loser of all time?'

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

"To gain free publicity, corporate wants to turn out office into a reality show. For ratings, we'll need you to all to start hating and fighting each other."

'I can't eat it! It's too horrible!' 'It's not I'm a Celebrity...Mum's dished up some wonky carrots.'

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"